idiotblogger:

One time when I was 7 i went to this big department store and there was giant rugs hanging from the celling and you could move them to see more rugs, so i moved one and there was an employee sitting behind it eating a bag of Doritos and I screamed and started crying and the store gave us a free rug

(via sufferinginthisdunya)

keelychu:

the worst kind of teacher is the kind that makes you feel afraid to ask questions by treating you like a total idiot whenever you ask one.

(Source: klefable, via baby-youre-just-my-type)

solitarydays:

perks of dating me

• i won’t ever call you mommy/daddy because that’s the creepiest fucking shit i have ever seen
• i’ll keep your weight down and your self-esteem high by eating all your food and looking like road kill
• you only have to date me for like a few more days because we are all going to die 

(Source: brettstansel, via baby-youre-just-my-type)